Wednesday, April 16, 2014

I don't feel guilty at all

Should I feel guilty for not seeking the truth sooner in life? Should I feel stupid for not seeing it quicker? I don't think so. I was busy staking my claim in the world, finding a spouse, raising a family and tending to a career and business.

Since religion played a non-existent role in my adult life, it just never occurred to me to seek any religious answers. But as I got older, that's when occasions arose where questioning religion and afterlife came naturally.

As I've alluded to in the past, my family's newfound zealousness for religion forced me to reflect, too, but my doubts had been there for a long time before that. I just never had a reason to thoroughly research all sides of religion and use critical thinking.

Lately, certain members of my family have been confused by my (and my wife's) late deconversion in life. For instance, my stepdaughter wonders why we raised her the way we did. But the answer is obvious. While I wasn't responsible for her attending Catholic school (that decision was made before I met her mother), I likely wouldn't have objected if consulted anyway because where/when I was raised Catholic schools were far better for education. I can't now regret it because at the time I just didn't think of religion as a poisonous institution, just a worthless one. And I certainly wouldn't have questioned her adherence to religious rituals (though she never completed all of them anyway).

So when I'm now confronted with people resenting my deconversion, I tell them it's important for them to know because I am progressing and helping her learn from my mistakes, of not questioning the establishment and detecting the lies. Do I feel guilty that she and my other stepchildren were raised to believe in a god? No, I can't, because it was how I was raised and I was busy with the aforementioned tasks of becoming a man responsible for other lives.

If you're reading this and you are someone who deconverted later in life, don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. Just be happy you figured it all out before you wasted you're whole life. And that's why I told my family, so they would know there was something else besides indoctrination and they can't say I never gave them the keys to the mint.

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